Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
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I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
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it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My feet surprised me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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