you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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