My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
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If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
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No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize