It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Sext me about skeletons
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize