somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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