but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize