Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize