Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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