soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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