Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
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making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
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The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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