I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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