Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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