Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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