It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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