I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
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sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
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I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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