Don't you send me to vm
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
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Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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