im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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