She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My pussy is not your playground.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize