WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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