i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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