just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize