My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
we're chasing vodka with high fives
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
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Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
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Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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