I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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