I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize