did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize