Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Dear god my vagina.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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