If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize