It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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