watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
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Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
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I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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