I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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