Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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