my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize