ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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