we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize