The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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