so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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