someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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