I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
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i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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