I just made out with a guy for $7.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
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Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
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What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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