Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize