I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize