the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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