oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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