If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
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i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
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My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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