oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
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It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
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we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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