I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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