Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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