He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
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Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
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I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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