she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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