I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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